parenting decisions

March 5, 2020

There is No Magic 8 Ball


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I want to travel the world with my little ones. I want to find the beauty & joy in parenting. I want to raise good people. I want to enjoy style & beauty. I want to create a warm & beautiful home. This is where I share my attempts at doing it all...


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How often do we as parents wonder if we are getting it all wrong or maybe at least coming close to doing things right?

Lately, my husband and I have been thinking critically about and evaluating the school options for our little ones… Amongst our four, we have one quickly approaching middle school and one who we want to be sure will be best served at his current school… and while the other two are very happy and doing well, we know that any shifts in school decisions won’t only effect those who may move to other places, but also will change dynamics in the whole household…

I’ve never been one to take the school decisions lightly, but this time around, it all feels so much more intense. I think about the what ifs constantly. I ponder where my kids will excel the best and what school will best inspire a lifetime love of learning. And then I get worked up thinking about “what if the best school for them doesn’t even have a spot to offer my child”… to say that this has become all-consuming would be an understatement… And I keep thinking, isn’t there a magic 8 ball that can just tell me the answer???

But I was reminded recently of a few facts…

Firstly, I was reminded of how lucky my family is to have some amazing options to consider & to have the means to even consider them…

But more importantly, I was reminded that my children were set up to excel in life not based on which school we choose, but because they are lucky enough to have parents that consider these options. They will have the best opportunity simply because we will be thinking about what that means at each step of their education. They will learn to love because they see that their parents enjoy to learn new things still. They will thrive because we will nurture them. They will learn independence and resilience because we will give them opportunities to make their own choices and to fail.

Essentially, we were reminded that how are children turn out will be much more greatly effected by our role in parenting them than any school’s role in educating them.

I have to say, this realization came as both a relief with a side of “eek”. The eek feeling mostly because I think that sometimes I seek to find the best outsourcing and rely on that to do the heavy lifting for me. But the truth is, when it comes to my children, it’s up to my husband & I to do the heavy lifting. And while we have certainly never been the type to shy away from the hard-work of parenting, it certainly is daunting to think that our hands on role will be the one that determines their preparedness when they go out into the world on their own…

But it is absolutely a relief to realize, that just by the vary fact that my children have parents who think about their education, who consider their hearts & emotions, who seek to help them find their talents – just by having us as parents, by having our unending and unconditional love, they are going to be just fine…

So while I sit here and continue to ponder what will be best for schools, how many sports or activities to let each kid try a season, and how to make bed times work to get us all more sleep, I am going to challenge myself, and you, to remember that we are doing the right thing just be virtue of caring… So let’s take a deep breath together and release that tension in our shoulders… We got this mamas… We got this…



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